When someone you love is battling mental health challenges, it’s natural to feel unsure about how to help. You want to support them, but it can be hard to know what they truly need—or how to navigate your own emotions in the process.

As a therapist who specializes in anxiety, I’ve seen how much of a difference compassionate, informed support can make for someone struggling with mental health symptoms. Whether your loved one is dealing with anxiety, depression, or another condition, the way you approach their journey can help them feel less alone and more empowered. Let’s explore some key strategies for supporting your partner or friend while maintaining your own well-being.

Educate Yourself About Mental Health

One of the best ways to support someone is to understand what they’re going through. Take time to learn about their condition—whether it’s anxiety, depression, PTSD, or something else. This doesn’t mean you need to become an expert, but having a basic understanding can help you empathize and respond more effectively.

For example, if your friend has anxiety, you might learn that their racing thoughts or physical symptoms (like sweating or trembling) are part of their experience, not something they can just “snap out of.” If your partner struggles with depression, you might recognize that their withdrawal or fatigue isn’t laziness but a symptom of their condition.

Practical Tips:

Read reputable resources, like articles from mental health organizations or books written by professionals.
Ask your loved one if they’d like to share how their mental health symptoms feel for them—every person’s experience is unique.
Avoid assuming you fully understand their experience; stay open to learning more.

Listen Without Judgment

Active listening is one of the most powerful ways to support someone struggling with mental health. This means giving your full attention, validating their feelings, and resisting the urge to immediately “fix” their problems. When someone opens up about their struggles, they’re often seeking connection and understanding, not solutions. Use empathetic statements like, “That sounds really hard,” or “I’m here for you,” to show that you’re listening. Reflect their feelings back to them with comments such as, “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed,” and avoid minimizing their experience with phrases like, “It’s not that bad.” The goal is to create a safe space where they feel heard and supported.

Offer Tangible Support, but Encourage Professional Help

Mental health symptoms can make even small tasks feel overwhelming, so offering practical help can be incredibly meaningful. Instead of assuming what they need, ask them directly: “How can I support you right now?” Depending on their answer, you might assist with daily tasks, such as making a phone call, preparing a meal, or joining them for a calming walk. If they’re open to it, encourage them to engage in activities that support their well-being, like therapy or relaxation exercises. Be sure to respect their boundaries if they decline your help—sometimes, space is just as valuable as hands-on support. While your support is invaluable, it’s important to recognize that you’re not a therapist or a cure-all. Gently encourage your loved one to seek professional help if they aren’t already doing so. Normalize the idea of therapy by framing it as a sign of strength, not weakness, and offer to assist them in finding a therapist or researching resources if they feel overwhelmed. Patience is key; if they’re hesitant, try to understand their concerns without pushing them.

Set Boundaries & Practice Patience

Supporting someone with mental health struggles can be emotionally taxing if you don’t take care of your own well-being. Setting boundaries allows you to be present for them without overextending yourself. For instance, reflect on how much time and energy you can give, and communicate your limits kindly: “I want to support you, but I also need some time to recharge.” Be mindful that their mental health isn’t your responsibility to fix, and remind yourself that stepping back to care for yourself is not abandonment—it’s self-preservation. Seek your own support if needed, whether through friends, family, or therapy, and remember that prioritizing your needs ensures you can continue to show up for them.

Mental health recovery is often non-linear, with progress that comes in small steps and occasional setbacks. Celebrate their wins, no matter how minor they might seem, and acknowledge their efforts with encouragement like, “I’m proud of you for taking that step.” At the same time, be patient with their process and avoid pressuring them to “get better” on a specific timeline. Focus on their individual journey and remind them that their worth isn’t tied to productivity or perfection.

Foster a Supportive Environment

The environment you create can play a significant role in supporting someone’s mental health. Model healthy habits, such as managing stress and practicing self-care, to encourage them to do the same. Help foster routines that promote well-being, like regular sleep schedules, balanced meals, or mindfulness practices. Reduce unnecessary stressors in your shared environment when possible, and remember that even small gestures, like a kind word or thoughtful action, can make a big difference.

The words we use carry weight, especially when someone is feeling vulnerable. Avoid using dismissive or critical language, such as, “Why can’t you just…” Instead, focus on empathetic communication. Use “I” statements to express concerns without blame, such as, “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter lately. How are you feeling?” Showing that you’re curious rather than critical can help them feel supported instead of judged.

Final Thoughts

Supporting a partner or friend with mental health challenges is a journey of empathy, patience, and resilience. By educating yourself, listening with compassion, offering tangible help, and maintaining healthy boundaries, you can create a foundation of trust and care. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers, and you don’t need to be perfect. Sometimes, the most impactful thing you can do is simply show up, be present, and remind your loved one they’re not alone. Together, you can navigate the challenges of mental health and grow stronger as a team.

If you find yourself feeling lost, untethered, or overwhelmed by understanding your loved one’s mental health experience - therapy can help. Getting support while you support others can be the difference between a positive experience and struggling. Explore the services and specialties pages, or reach out below.

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